i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
