Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
