She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
