is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
