went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
