I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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