After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
