Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
