I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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