Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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