are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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