so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
