I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
