i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize