I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize