did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
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I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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