I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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