im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The best revenge is premature balding
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
