its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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