i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
