i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize