How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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