I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
