I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
