just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
