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• (716): View more from New York

  Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad

  Fav 8 1183 1117

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.

  Fav 13 1740 1323

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation

  Fav 24 1297 5104

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in

  Fav 14 3762 1031

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.

  Fav 10 3961 1181

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child

  Fav 9 2158 1050

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly

  Fav 3 748 1113

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

  Fav 16 1086 1594

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.

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• (858): View more from California

  The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

  Fav 0 696 438

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.

  Fav 1 920 528

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.

  Fav 5 820 407

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.

  Fav 2 346 489

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• (714): View more from California

  So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.

  Fav 1 190 532

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