Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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  (248): did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there. http://tfl.nu/0o4m
  Replies (6) Good night (1549) Bad night (801)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker

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  (917): fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker http://tfl.nu/ivhi
  Replies (22) Good night (1274) Bad night (3556)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.

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  (303): My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks. http://tfl.nu/ug5h
  Replies (16) Good night (1900) Bad night (3506)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them

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  (314): my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them http://tfl.nu/57b7
  Replies (7) Good night (3507) Bad night (1286)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.

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  (952): Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage. http://tfl.nu/guje
  Replies (15) Good night (1047) Bad night (4259)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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  (267): just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES http://tfl.nu/axvy
  Replies (37) Good night (8218) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

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  (770): I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar. http://tfl.nu/rlky
  Replies (9) Good night (4070) Bad night (2356)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

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  (908): Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic. http://tfl.nu/hh2b
  Replies (33) Good night (4201) Bad night (5283)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.

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  (617): your philanthropy is ruining my sex life. http://tfl.nu/l4rt
  Replies (7) Good night (983) Bad night (2576)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.

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  (516): The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone. http://tfl.nu/jz14
  Replies (19) Good night (3828) Bad night (1637)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.

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  (248): How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve. http://tfl.nu/a52b
  Replies (2) Good night (2354) Bad night (1607)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.

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  (813): Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early. http://tfl.nu/x0zy
  Replies (3) Good night (960) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?

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  (505): Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means? http://tfl.nu/odjk
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.

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  (763): just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl. http://tfl.nu/ywyq
  Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.

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  (818): Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it. http://tfl.nu/5j1u
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (173)

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