so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.