"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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