Cold hands, warm shart.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
