I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
