Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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