You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
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Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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