Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
