lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's official drugs can't kill me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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