I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize