Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
