Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize