Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
