the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
