Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
