are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
