a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
