..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
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I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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