There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
