So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
