I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i've created a new STD.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
