they need to just BURY HIM!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
