Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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