sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
