as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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