mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
