Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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