I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
