I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
