yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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