So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
