i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
