i already hear my dad disowning me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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