dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
