No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
