Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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