I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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