I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
