hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
