Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
